Blaise again...
I lift my eyes up; where does my help come from…?(Psalm 121) A friend just sent this song to me; a reminder of the One who holds us in His hand during this strange and unfamiliar time. As I listen to it, there is a deep ache that washes over me. The only words that seem to make their way to my lips are - help my unbelief.
I was finishing up the book ‘Becoming the Answer to Our Prayers’ (by Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson Hartgrove) the other day, and this short quote from Mark 9 jumped out at me - ‘I believe; help my unbelief’. I can’t seem to get past this line. It feels so very honest at this moment in our lives. When it comes to healing and prayer and our circumstances and questions, like where is God… help my unbelief feels like the only prayer I can muster up.
I do believe, but I am made aware of the enormity of uncertainty; the un-knowable. Following Christ, taking up our cross, counting the cost…these are questions that will never have neat, pretty answers… And somehow we have to be okay with that. The great I AM is not to be comprehended. Period.
Lord, help my unbelief…
Thank you for your glaring and most refreshing honesty.
ReplyDeleteI am aware how often as Christians - to keep the faith - we speak of the way things should be as an out for speaking about the way things are.
Faith should be straightforward, but it isn't. It has you waiting, with no indication of what you're waiting for. You should know where it is you're going, but you don't. You feel like a fool trying to explain how it is you got here, but it's not easy - a dream here, an impulse there, a fleeting revelation.
To borrow from Abram's story - Ur is behind you and only God knows what's ahead. I get the distinct impression He isn't given the opportunity to lead people in this way too often. So make the most of it, for your sake as well as His!
He is with you regardless. And you are with Him.