Picabo's Goggles

Everything changed when Picabo discovered goggles!  Previously, our sensitive 5 year old was terrified of putting her head under water.  She loved swimming, just not going under.  And then one day, with a new pair of goggles strapped snuggly around her head, and following her sister’s lead, Pica submerged.  And just like that, all the fear was gone. 

In retrospect it makes sense...  Without goggles it’s hard to see under water.  It’s the fear of the unknown that seized her.  And I know the feeling.   

The interesting thing for me, as I’ve watched Picabo battle her fears over the past 5 years of her little life, is that I’ve become even more aware of the fears in my own life.  I’m amazed at how much I’ve allowed fear to take root in my life.  Fears over the kids, money, security, the future, and so on...

When we began this sabbatical, I was so overwhelmed with fear that I couldn’t sleep through the night for the first week or two - afraid something horrible was going to happen to the kids and to us on the journey...  

But over the past couple months God has truly done something amazing in my head and in my heart.  He’s given me my own set of goggles, in the form of His Spirit.  The power of the Holy Spirit to bring truth and give sight is an amazing thing.  The Spirit puts all things in perspective and allows God to be the One we put our hope in.  It all comes down to hope and the knowledge that we are in His hands.  And, the belief that He will not give us more than we can handle...

“It requires heroic courage to trust in the love of God no matter what happens to us...”

“The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future.  The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment.  The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future.  Why?  Because God has signaled the movement and offered his presence and his promise.”

“Trust is our gift back to God, and he finds it so enchanting Jesus died for it...”

-  Brennan Manning, “Ruthless Trust - The Ragamuffin’s Path to God”

Perhaps it was the letting go of everything familiar in our lives, the challenge of being out on our own, or simply the stopping of all things busy, but this trip has truly pressed us into Him.  Our future, as Matt said so well in A Handful of Diamonds, is as unknown as ever before, but I’m grateful He’s allowed His Spirit to be so present and tangible during this time, during the day we’re in...  With Pica’s goggles and my own, fear is losing it’s power over our lives. 

Jesus, we thank you that you sent your Spirit and we ask your forgiveness for our fear. Forgive our un-belief, our making you small, and our lack of trust in YOU.  You are worthy and faithful.   

Stuffed

Perhaps it is the two giant stuffed dogs that a stranger won in Reno and kindly gave to our girls.  Perhaps it is the two Pooh bears Matt and I got suckered into buying at Disneyland, so the girls could have a ‘keepsake.’  Maybe it’s just the added addition of our puppy – Bella; or maybe it’s all of these things combined... but recently I have been amazed at the excess in our lives.

Yes, we sold our house, reduced our lives to 250 square feet but I’m still amazed at all that we’ve managed to stuff into this home on wheels. 

Admittedly, I felt a loss in the spring when we sold our beautiful home, on a beautiful street in the neighborhood of my youth.  I felt a loss when we sold all the funky, eclectic furniture we’d acquired over 13 years of marriage.  But then, slowly, as we set out on our journey, there came a certain lightness of being (as Matt explained in “Learning 250”).  We learned with each passing day that our attempt at simplicity and the drastic reduction of “stuff” was incredibly freeing...  Everything slowed down.  Ironically, life became a lot less crowded – even though we were living in a smaller space.

But lately I have become very aware of how much stuff we still have...  Our closets (1/8^th the size of normal closets in an average middle class home) are still filled with clothes, half of which none of us have worn on this trip so far.  We just came back from a huge grocery shop where we didn’t even flinch at our $200 grocery bill (which included some non-essentials, like a cheap DVD player, since our other one broke).  I can’t believe we are still able to live lives of excess, even in such small living space!

...And I wonder what Jesus thinks of it all?

Here we are on the doorstep of celebrating His Birthday, and I’m focusing on what I’ll buy for my two kids who already have too much.  As people who say that they follow Christ, aren’t we supposed to be choosing something different?  Shouldn’t we be continually striving to follow His example, and hoping that our lives might look more like His? 

If Jesus were here today, would we catch a glimpse of him at the local mall, purchasing those perfect gifts for Peter, James and Mary?  Actually, given that it’s Christ’s B-day, would we find Paul or Peter, James or Luke, shuffling through the crowds to buy Jesus a bath robe?

We have way more than most of the population, and still we want more...  We rationalize this lust for more with maxims of tradition and love for our family.  That’s what I do.

Proverbs 30:8-9 says, “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ 
Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.”

I pray that we who love Jesus would not disown Him this season, in order to make those around us a little more stuffed. 

Jesus, forgive us for how we’ve stuffed our lives with things we don’t need, built bigger barns to house it all, and forgotten that we, who have been given so much, are required to give more away... even our lives.  May you lead us all to become servants and friends to the poor and those in need, as an act of saying “I love you...and thank you for this life.”

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