Midway Rides

Strangely content in a Wal-mart parking lot; who’d of thought... Make no mistake, I’m not a fan of the giant, take-over-the-world corporation, but staying in their parking lot for free, for the past couple of days, has felt like a little oasis.  

Let me paint a picture...

Several consecutive grey days.  We had nowhere to be until Sunday. The kids were overtired and not especially inclined to run around.  And we were feeling the need to save some money.  Across the parking lot we discovered a Borders (U.S. version of Chapters), and it had free Wi-Fi and a Starbucks!  What more could an Internet junky, book loving, caffeine-addicted girl ask for!  

Of course, there were some cons... Sharing the huge parking lot with us was an over-priced Midway, with rides and games and lights and cotton candy – the whole nine yards!  There was, of course, the need to explain to the kids why we’re not about to spend $5 per ride, per kid, and it’s difficult to fall asleep amid the shrieks and screams of the carnival-goers, helicopters that circle overhead, and the sweet sound of car alarms randomly going off till the late hours...

At around midnight, the bizarre sound-scape subsided and we found ourselves mostly alone in the parking lot.  Come morning, when we woke and opened our eyes, if we lay very still, the muffled, repetitious sounds of the freeway sounded just like the lapping waves of the ocean...

Perhaps we’re feeling a little too relaxed (it has been just over a month now on the road), but our last couple of days in a Wal-mart parking lot were a couple of our best days so far.  Maybe it’s just me that’s changed, but I’m definitely feeling way more present – and I’m loving the little things.  The girls are teaching me that.

It’s an amazing privilege to step back from our lives and the pace that we used to maintain.  It’s an amazing privilege to move slow; so slow that we can enjoy a couple of days in a Wal-Mart parking lot.  I think that more often than not our lives are like those over-priced Midway rides...  It’s been really nice to just get off and watch.

We Are Prostitutes

We went to Bethel Church in Redding, California, this morning for their Sunday morning gathering.  Bethel is home to ‘Jesus Culture’ and some of the most amazing worship songs being written at the moment.  For a worship leader, it’s like heading to Mecca ...or so I thought. 

To be honest, I’m not sure which was more heartbreaking, being with the Mormons last week or being at Bethel Church today.  Read our blankpagerevival blog to get a better sense of our experience.  For me, as I sat and watched, and listened, I felt compelled to write this...

Father forgive us for how

We prostitute your Kingdom

And sell you like a cheap suit

To the highest bidder...

Father forgive us for

All that we build and we acquire

And build some more

In Your Name

Oh, the shame...

Father forgive us for

How we peddle your wares

Never stopping to think

How You must care

What’s for sale and

What’s NOT supposed to be

For sale...

Father forgive us for

Seeking only to be blessed

For selling Heaven

And packaging prosperity

For merchandising MORE

Not less...

Father forgive us for

Nickel-and-diming

And taking up

Yet another offering

So we can have

Great lighting,

Boom cameras,

And the latest LCD projectors,

ALL in the name

Of furthering Your Kingdom...

Father forgive us for

Putting Your name

On our church buildings

On our loot

On our lives

And calling it ‘blessing’

While others go hungry

While others remain homeless

And while there is injustice in this world...

Forgive us, Father

For we have

SINNED

And fallen short

So very

Very far

From

You...

Jesus Has Left the Building

Sunday, October 10^th, was declared “Mormon Tabernacle Choir Day” by the Governor of Utah.  How do I know?  Well, instead of finding a local gathering of believers to worship with last Sunday morning, we decided to visit Temple Square and hang out with the Mormons.  I figured it was sort of that ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’...or, ‘When in Salt Lake City, Utah’ sort of thing.

We were picked up bright and early by the cheerful ‘missionaries’ who provide a free shuttle from the campsite to the Temple (free is always a great thing!).   They told us how to act and what to expect during the service (it’s a televised event, so there are rules).   Those that manned the large iron gates were eager to welcome us; “We’re so glad you’ve joined us” was mentioned half a dozen times by each person we met.  Needless to say, we felt very welcomed.

...So far, this was kind of like going to any “regular church.”

Strange, really.  There were lots of similarities.  Great music - the Mormons can really sing!  (There’s nothing like 350 voices singing in perfect pitch and harmony.)  There was a short, simple message; we’re talking 7 – 8 mins max.  The gyst: “Don’t harbour bitterness.”  Can’t disagree with the content... or the length.  The lighting, the boom camera, the production value: definitely, on par with Willow Creek; the only thing missing was the jumbo-tron!

The thing that was missing, if you were really looking for it, was Jesus.  In fact, the show was so great and the music so good, you could have almost missed it.  But truly, Jesus was pushed to the side.  In fact, I think He’d left the building...

The people we spoke to claimed Jesus; we just didn’t see Him anywhere.  Isn’t that the real issue with the broad range of those who claim Christ?

We can wear the smile and welcome others.  We can have great music and an up-lifting message, and we can have great production value -- all the bells and whistles, really.  We can even praise Jesus in Sunday morning gatherings; there is still the question:  Do the lives of Christ-followers look different from the lives of others?  Every day?  In every choice?  If we were honest, would we admit that most of the time Jesus is an ad-on in our lives; kind of like insurance?  Or, has Jesus left the building?

As John Piper writes in his book God Is the Gospel:

The critical question for our generation – and for every generation – is this:  If you could have heaven, with no sickness and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?

Are we really in love with Jesus, and do our lives reflect that love in the way we live, and not just how we gather on a Sunday?  Am I?

I think my prayer right now, for the body of believers called “Christians,” would take the words of A.W. Tozer, from The Pursuit of God: 

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more.  I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace.  I am ashamed of my lack of desire.  O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made thirsty still.  Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed.  Begin in mercy a new work of love within me.  Say to my soul, “Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.”  Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.

Wired

From the Badlands of South Dakota to the plains of Wyoming, we finally figured out where the dear and the antelope play!  The view, in every direction, has been nothing short of spectacular, a real feast for the eyes... and soul. 

As someone who feels more at home in any big city, and never had any impulse to hug a tree in her life, there is nothing like seeing nothing for a very long time. 

Matt dragged me up to Algonquin when we first got married. Dense, green nature really doesn’t do it for me.  Perhaps because I’m allergic to most trees... and the idea of bears-around-the-bend somehow trumps that oh-so-peaceful feeling.

There is something about the barren beauty of this land.  You can see for miles, with no hint or stain of any civilization.  I feel like I’m in a western movie, just without Tonto and his horse, and those cowboys who stole this land to begin with... (I digress). 

To see the colours that God chose to paint this part of the world with – a thousand hues of gold, brown, green, blue, pink, purple and grey; the artist in me is freshly inspired.

For example, it’s so good to be writing again, something that’s been shelved for a very long time.  I am deeply grateful for this time to dream and imagine.  It feels utterly indulgent to have time to put pen to paper, write songs, and to even pick up my camera again. 

Perhaps part of my to-be list is to remember how God has wired me.  I love the canvas. I love the possibilities of what could be.  I love to begin, and to set things in motion.  I love to dream and envision, and try and fail... and try again.

There is something different, however, this time round. Unlike the years I labored over creating and striving to succeed, when it was all about what I wanted to be and say, this time all I want is to reflect God’s glory... to be a small part of His story.  To listen and then create.  To hear and then write.   

More than anything I want to hear you God, and only then live out loud. 

“His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.

 I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”

[Jeremiah 20:10]

To-Be List

It’s a funny thing leaving everything behind, letting go of stuff, cramming what belongings you think you’ll need into 250 square feet and trying to figure out where to go first. And here we are at the beginning of October – already.  Time is fleeting and the days already feel like they’re being measured. 

Amazing, what a challenge it is to find a rhythm to life, where ever you may be.  We are so wired (in North America) to live according to ‘what’s coming? What’s next?’  Just to live in the moment requires us – no, forces us - to look at what it means to be content.  Content with who we are, content with where we are, and content with the task at hand, no matter how simple.  Everything in our culture seems to push us away from being content.  Even during a sabbatical old manners of thinking kick in, and I struggle to be content.

“Relax,” Matt says. Easier said then done. It’s a challenge to be still anyway, but this is part and parcel of why we’ve left…  

We’re all hard-wired for rest, but if God is not invited into each moment, how easy it is to be swallowed up with restlessness; something I didn’t expect from being on sabbatical.  Questions so easily push the moment to the side:  Where should we be? What should we be doing? How much time is left? ...And, suddenly contentment has left the building!

My to-do list (even during this Sabbath time) need to be exchanged for to-be list.  And I think the prescription for learning to live in the moment is thankfulness. To be thankful changes everything.  The kids are teaching me this.  In every place we’ve camped, no matter how broken down (and let me tell you, some places have been humble), the kids have found something to be thankful for.  A play park, a new dog, a friend to meet...

“Be still and know that I Am God.”

You know what’s next, God.  Thank you for this very moment, this day and our daily bread. Thank you for my kids, my partner and best friend, and this journey you have us on...

The Real Thing

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.  – Acts 2:42-47

Deeply moved.  Those are the words I come away with from our time in Chicago.  Nothing like meeting people living out Acts 2, and not just talking about it on a Sunday morning.  People determined to live without, sharing all, so they in turn can serve the poor, simply because they love Jesus. 

I am reminded of how this journey for Matt and I began, with a book called “Irresistible Revolution,” by Shane Claiborne.   If you haven’t read it – please do so (and prepare to walk away deeply challenged).  That was the first of many books that God used to wake us up to His heart for the poor, and His invitation for us to join Him in bringing His Kingdom here.

It’s been a three and a half-year journey for us, and finally we’re getting to meet communities living it out.  The neat thing about the two intentional communities we met in Chicago -- Jesus People USA & Reba House Fellowship, is how different and unique their expressions of being the Church were.  I’ve been told there is no prescription for living out God’s mission in this world, but truly you can taste the real thing when given a chance, and still see the originality with which they live out the gospel of Christ. 

Let me be clear, in case I over-simplify or romanticize what we saw: In all my conversations with people, like Debbie, Cindy, Andrew and Kate, there was such honesty about how hard it is to live in community and serve the poor.  In every conversation, they spoke about God using this to shape them and stretch them till it hurt; you could see pain mixed with joy in their faces as they spoke. The crucible theme seems to continue.  Only these folks have chosen it!

“For everything in this world tries to pull us away from community, pushes us to choose ourselves over others, to choose independence over interdependence, to choose great things over small things, to choose going fast alone over going far together.”  - Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

Dare I hope that creating or being part of something like this is what God will write on our blank page?  Truth is, I’d also be relieved if He doesn’t...

Thank you JPUSA & Reba House for welcoming us so warmly.  It was inspiring to be with you...